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Razer
|image = Image:razercar.png |imagewidth = 290 |caption = So gay he can't even think straight. |Row 1 title = Nicknames |Row 1 info = None that he won't hurt you for. |Row 2 title = Gender |Row 2 info = Male |Row 3 title = Age |Row 3 info = 31 (canon) / 32 (elegante) |Row 4 title = DoB |Row 4 info = December 10 |Row 5 title = Species |Row 5 info = Elf (Precurian) |Row 6 title = Languages |Row 6 info = Common |Row 7 title = Room |Row 7 info = 2388 (Deck 11) |Row 8 title = Canon |Row 8 info = Jak and Daxter |Row 9 title = Journal |Row 9 info = switch on your nitrous and--let's--go |Row 10 title = Mun |Row 10 info = Nashi }} ...People talk about “flaming” and “fruity” when they don’t feel like speaking up. But this is Kras City’s legendary Razer, and for him you'd better tweak the issue a bit. Let's say, oh...a fruit basket flung into the sun. -- [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2743617/1/ Weiila's "The Diplomat"] '' '' Information Background :Razer is listed as the top lieutenant to Mizo, his world's most powerful crime boss, and known as the greatest racer in his hometown of Kras City. It isn't known how long he's been working the criminal overworld, but judging by his rank it's presumable he's been at it for a number of years. His first love, however, is and will likely always be racing, although until quite recently he was retired and working exclusively in the criminal business. The reasons for his retirement are unknown, but given his age, skill, and personality, it was more than likely due to massive boredom with the underwhelming competition. :Just a few weeks before his impromptu relocation, Razer returned to active racing in an attempt to kick Jak's ass. He also failed. Not hardcore, mind you, it was close, but a failure is a failure and requires punishment of some form or another. Canonically he disappears following his defeat, leaving it unclear as to whether he simply went back into retirement after the Blue Eco Cup or got himself killed somehow, either by an opponent on the track or by his own employer, who did drop a rather specific (if seemingly innocuous) threat during one very public interview. Personality :A bit of a perfectionist and a big fan of breaking things, Razer is a walking contradiction in terms. He's also a homotastic douchebag who probably wants to sleep with your brother. And maybe your father, he's not picky about ages. He hates failing at anything, thrives on attention, loves to make people angry and will fuck your shit up if you ever call him a fag. He's also an absolute spoiled brat who will do pretty much whatever it takes to get his way. Eh, that's what happens when you grow up in Kras. :Razer is the kind of man who enjoys the finer things in life as much as he likes breaking them into little tiny pieces. He is not, however, the amoral psychopath that his Havenite counterpart, Erol, so clearly is. Razer is a gentleman; smooth, educated, as well-spoken as he is dressed, and unlike many people in his business he has retained a couple points of distorted moral high ground. First, he doesn't approve of cheating in races, or anywhere it can be avoided. The reasoning behind this is rather arrogant (he's too good to have to cheat in most cases and he knows it) but it's accurate enough that there really isn't much anyone can say about it. Secondly, he finds things like rape to be extremely distasteful--the big question is just what his definition of "rape" is. Of course Razer has slept with more than his fair share of barely-willing partners, it's the "barely" that makes it all right. His idea of consent is extremely twisted, and he would be happy to explain it if anyone were to ask. Yes, this is hypocritical. No, he doesn't care. :Anything else he'll do, and probably has done more than once. He's been in this business a very long time. Appearance :Razer is one of the taller characters in his series, topping out somewhere between 6'2" and 6'4" (he's listed as being 6'2" in his in-game profile, but the height difference between him and other characters makes it obvious that this is slightly ''off), with a muscular build to match. His skin is extremely pale, his hair is jet black and his eyes are bright green; canonically the only actual skin you ever see on him is from the neck up, the rest being completely concealed by his very stylish clothing. He also has freaking enormous ears, if anyone was wondering. :Considering he's a high-ranking member of Mizo's gang, it's generally assumed that he does have some ink somewhere on his body. In line with this, the version featured on the Elegante has a red-on-black flame tattoo from his wrist to his elbow on either arm. These are usually covered with his jacket and gloves, considering they ruin the air of absolute perfection Razer takes such great pride in, but as Razer has pretty much relinquished his jacket to Lily in a nice bit of manipulation, he's been showing off the tattoos for a while now. He still remains one of the most fashionable people in the multiverse, and don't you forget it. :'As of February 2010', Razer's left tattoo has been carved off, and there's a strip missing from on the underside of his wrist on the right. The left is scarred in a pattern following the original outline of the tattoo, but it fades into normal skin where AMU eventually applied grafts. Relationships Canonmates *[[Erol|'Erol']]': ( + + + + + )' Razer's Havenite counterpart, and the only person he's met in his life who Gets It. They compliment each other perfectly, and Razer completely adores Erol in ways that he'll never be comfortable describing aloud. To put it simply, Razer is madly in love with Erol. To put it less simply...would take up this entire page. Disturbingly, the feeling is entirely mutual. These two are dangerous apart, together they have the opportunity to wreak some serious havoc. *[[Jak|'Jak']]':' '( + + / - - )' Beat Razer in the Blue Eco Grand Prix, but is still one fine piece of ass. Technically the game is over, and even though Jak killed him he still considers himself to be the winner. Now that he doesn't have to pretend, playing with Jak is going to be...interesting. *[[Keira Hagai|'Keira Hagai']]': ( - - - / + )' Annoying mechanic woman thing. The mechanic part is cool! The rest, less so. *[[Ashelin Praxis by Ren|'Ashelin Praxis']]': ( - - - / + ) Stupid bitch, but a decent racer. It pains Razer to admit this. Razer is positive that Ashelin is not as smart as she thinks she is, and considering she's younger on the boat than he knew her as she may be more prone to manipulation. He likes to rile her up for fun. *[[Phoenix|'''Phoenix]]: ( + + + + ) Appears to be the younger brother Razer never knew he had. Razer finds him very attractive, for obvious reasons, and honesty likes him. He's a good guy, Razer can tell, but there's this vindictive edge that he really wishes he had leave to openly appreciate. Later. *[[Daxter|'Daxter']]: ( - - - - ) Annoying rat thing. Tells a good story, but is too loud to get many points for it. When Jak was under the impression that Ace had killed Daxter, Razer was sincerely amused. He was also disappointed to find this wasn't true. They just don't get along. *'Torn: ( - - - - ) '''They don't have a relationship, really, beyond Razer thinking he's kind of hot and serves as good button-pushing material with Ashelin. *'Damas: ( + + / - - )' Razer likes Damas. Lots. This isn't a good thing. He's a relative of Jak, which makes him interesting to start with, but there's just something about being able to leave a king almost speechless that's absolutely intoxicating. He'll keep this one. *[[Kleiver|'Kleiver']]': ( + + / - - ) Ugly, quite possibly stupid, but actually not on Razer's dislike list. If anything, he has a slightly-less-than-grudging respect for the guy, simply because he knows his racing is good and that's the best way to do well by Razer. *[[Baron Praxis|'''Baron Praxis]]: ( + / - - - ) Erol's "leash-holder." Though Razer's never spoken to him, his opinion of the Baron is that he's too stiff and needs to let Erol off his leash altogether now and then. Good taste in tattoos, though, and he deserves a lot of respect for holding Haven in his thrall for so long. NO LONGER ON THE BOAT. *[[GT Blitz|'GT Blitz']]: ( + + + / - ) Secretly Razer's boss, Mizo. Razer has an insane amount of respect for this man, and is also more than a little scared of him. He does know how to spin things just right to stay out of trouble, for the most part, and is well-aware that he's always been Mizo's favorite, so he pushes the envelope with him a little more than a man in his position should. He usually refers to Mizo as his "leash-holder," making Blitz the Praxis to his Erol. Oh, and for the record he's also slept with the guy at least twice, and it was awesome at the time. At this point, he really couldn't care less. ALSO OFF THE BOAT BAWW. Other Characters *Fred Cassidy: Not really helpful, but not annoying yet. He gets the neutral stamp. *Mimmi Kopanski: Almost entirely unhelpful. *Lily: Crazy little girl with a habit of screaming like a crazy little girl. Informationally useful and oddly endearing. Connected to a great deal of the people on the ship, she's good for networking and Razer fully intends to take advantage of this little quirk however possible. *Zelda/Sheik: Sucks at poetry. Needs to accept this. Fun to mess with, though. *Amaria Midesha: Healer, apparently, could be useful later. Neutral stamp. *Karis Needleteeth: Freak with too little skin. Ohgod. *Autonomous Medical Unit 92-XG-3: So much more interesting than UR-86. *Christine Daae: Delusional, dense, and idealistic. Also young, naive, and a little bit stupid. Hilarious, in a way, but also rather pathetic. *Salvador Rallo: Very much his age, inside and out, so he seems a little...excitable. Props for his thoughts on religion, though. Neutral. *Pickles the Drummer: Too stupid to live. *Ironhide: Has a boring homeworld and needs to admit it, but otherwise doesn't really register. Neutral. *Slipstream: Cybertronians are droids too, stupid. Still, she seems okay. Neutral. *Motoko Kusanagi: Impressive. Overbearing, but impressive. That's about it. *Batou: Someday, Razer is going to kill him. Elegante Timeline September 2009 *14 • 'Arrival on the Elegante. ''with Ashelin, Fred, Rfena 1.0, Mimmi, Erol, Lily, Amaria and Jak. **14.1 '• '''Rough quickie with Erol. 18+ **14.2 '• 'Your poetry sucks, Zelda. **14.3 '• 'Daxter is still an idiot. *19 '• 'You're boring and your ship is boring. ''with Shilo, Ashelin and Rfena 1.0 **19.1 '• '''Messing with Princess Zelda. *21 '• 'Erol sure knows how to leave a mark. ''with Mimmi, Ani, Amaria, Lily, Erol, Zelda, AMU and Karis. *28 '• '''Anyone want to trade something for a frog? ''with Zelda, Ani and Amaria. October 2009 *07 '• '''Wow your religions suck. ''with Christopher, Amaria, Mimmi, Karis, Kusanagi, Fred, Lika, Ironhide, Ace, Lenny, Jak and Sal. **07.1 '• '''Jakiverse religion is interesting. *09 '• '''Someday he's just going to kill Pickles. *12 • Christine is delusional. *13 '• '''Missing Shiv. ''with Kleiver, Zelda and Pickles. *14 '• '...Are you all right, Jak? **14.1 '• '''Drinks at the Oceanview. *15 '• 'Samuel is just the wrong kind of noble. *16 '• 'Uh...hello, boss. **16.1 '• 'Erol, Razer is here to recruit you. **16.2 '• 'Sex is okay too though. 18+ *21 '• 'Why on earth would Blitz need a warning? *23 '• 'Talk about worlds, and why Razer's sucks. ''with Zelda, Erol, Ironhide, Sal, Ashelin and Blitz. **23.1 '''• ''1984 is totally about Praxis. *24 '• Keeping up the act with Blitz. *25 • Erol accidentally makes Razer's life difficult. *26 '• '''Welcoming Gan Ning to the Hellboat. **26.1 '• 'Pickles is still too stupid to live. *28 '• 'Time to use that frog. ''with Remy and Meth. *29 • Razer finds his Halloween Event mask. with Blitz and Erol. *30 '• '''Yes, Slipstream, Razer's ears are totally proportional. November 2009 *01 '• 'Time to be a bad influence on Jak. *02 '• 'That was one interesting party... ''with Blitz. **02.1 '• '''Deck 20 is opened to passengers. **02.2 '• 'Razer is going to live down there for a while. *07 '• 'CRASH. **07.1 '• 'Covering up that whole ''caring ''thing. ''with Kage, Ironhide, Ashelin, Slipstream, AMU, Remy, Akagi, Pickles, Arbiter, Lily, Christine, Jak and Blitz. *16 '• '''More covering up. ''with Erol, Zelda, Blitz and Lily. *18 '''• '''What did Jak do? *21 • Brig visits are only supposed to last three days, right? with Kusanagi, Zelda, Meifeng and Jak. **21.1 '• '''Pleasure to meet you, less-fabulous clone Phoenix. **21.2 '• 'Hello Bella. **21.3 '• 'Shut up, Oleg. **21.4 '• 'You too, Kusanagi. **21.5 '• 'Lily, your hypocrisy is showing. *23 '• 'Christine visits Erol, Razer is unimpressed. *25 '• 'Talk of Erol and concern for Jak. ''with Blitz and Jak. **25.1 '• '''Messing with Edward Cullen. **25.2 '• 'Hating on Batou. *26 '• 'Mizo has a meeting with Erol and Razer. *27 '• 'Damn it, Praxis, he just fixed it. **27.1 '• 'Calling out the Baron. December 2009 (''Holy crap december is BUSY.) *01 '• '''You're still boring and your ship is still boring. ''with Lenny, Ashelin and Oleg. '' **01.1 '• 'Beating up Edward Cullen. *02 '• 'This means Razer was right, right? *03 '• 'Strike one! (It was so worth it.) *04 '• 'Erol is off his leash. **04.1 '• 'Celebrating the best way they know how. 18+ *05 '• 'Precurians popping out of the woodwork. **05.1 '• 'Everyone knows Torn and Ashe are screwing, wtf. *06 '• 'Daxter killed someone? Really? **06.1 '• 'Daxter killed ''GT Blitz? **06.2 '• '''Hey, hey Erol, our boss got killed by a rat. *07 '• 'Razer starts signing up other people for the racing tournament. ''with Phoenix, Zelda, Bryn, Lily, Odette, Ashelin and Karis. **07.1 '• '''Signing up Zelda. **07.2 '• 'Signing up Phoenix. **07.3 '• 'Lily is going to ''end you, Edward. *08 '• '''Agreeing with the masses. **08.1 '• 'But what if he doesn't want Nirvana? **08.2 '• 'Hardcore is for sissies. *09 '• 'Oh. Lovely. ''Keira. *10 '• '''Blitz announces Razer's midlife crisis birthday. **10.1 '• 'Building the PR and hating it. ''with Karis and Lily. **10.2 '• '"Thanks" for Ashelin. **10.3 '• '''Threadjacking Daxter. **10.4 '• 'Happiness is... **10.5 '• '...Not this Mardamned party. *12 '• 'Welcoming Sulphur. *13 '• 'Tachikomatic time. *14 '• 'A friendly race with Jak. **14.1 '• 'Daxter is still an idiot. *15 '• 'Phoenix is a novice at everything. *18 '• 'Everyone is a side character. ''with Zelda, The Heron, Odette, Ashelin, Daxter, Erol, Blitz and Jak. *19 '• '''Sheik is much too verbose. *22 '• Welcoming Haseo. *24 •''' Christmas is overrated. with Ashelin. **24.1 '''• Welcoming Nick. **24.2 •''' Redd is clearly an American roundear. *25 '''• Bumping into Rfena. *28 •''' Welcoming Maia Acheron. **28.1 '''• Phoenix, you sound like an idiot. *29 •''' Redd is clearly specist. with Ganondorf, Zelda, Remy and Phoenix. *30 '''• Next she'll want a pony. January 2010 *01 •''' When is the tournament starting? with Lilith. *02 '''• Enter Erik. *03 • 'How to upset Daxter in four easy steps. **03.1 '• Shopping with Lilith. *04 •''' Frog questions with Jak. **04.1 '• '''Breaking Keira's brain. **04.2 '• Chronology with Kleiver. **04.3 •''' Ducks, condoms and Redd. **04.4 '''• Holy shit, Ashelin. *06 •''' Talk of gifts with Phoenix. *07 •''' Question time! with Blitz and Mihaila. *10 •''' Samuel's crazy is amusing. *11 '''• Aw, so she's dead? *14' • '''I know something you don't know. ''with Phoenix, Remy, King, and Ganondorf. *19 • 'The Coup begins. **19.1 '• 'Second Descent: Posters. **19.2 '• ' Third Descent: Dead things! **19.3 '• ' Sixth Descent: The camera and Jeremiah. **19.4 '• ' Eighth Descent: Such as a fishtank. **19.5 '• ' Tenth Descent: Plague. *21 '• 'It's like going mad. ''with Erol, Ashelin and Blitz. **21.1 '• '''Someone broke the boat? *26 '• 'Want to watch a...movie? ''with Lily, Kusanagi, Michaelangelo, Erol, Leonardo, Ironhide, Remy, Rochelle, Ganondorf, Mikaela, Keira, and King. *27 '• '''Not an idiot, thank you. **27.1 '• 'Batou is rightfully dubious. *31 '• 'Party time. **31.1 '• 'Drinking with Phoenix. February 2010 *01 '• 'The morning after. ''with Erol, Ashelin, Phoenix, Torn, Rothbart, Derek, Gippal, Karis, and Deacon. **01.1 '• '''Samuel is an idiot. **01.2 '• 'STOP SCREAMING. *02 '• 'Phoenix's goggles are stupid. **02.1 '• 'Messing with Ashelin. *03 '• 'Mizo's punishment. ''with Bryn, Phoenix, Erol and Rochelle. *05 '• '''Anyone good with tattoos? ''with Phoenix, Ironhide, Gippal, Zeke, and Lily. *08 '• '''Conversation and bandages. *13 '• 'Why some plushies rock. ''with Gippal, Phoenix, and Jak. *14 '• '''Why some parties suck. *15 '• 'Can I have my ears back now? ''wth Mimmi, Lily, Jak, Gippal, and Damas. *16 '• '''Skin grafts! ''with AMU and Erol. **16.1 '• '''I will not be an ottsel. *19 '• 'Dropping bombs on Damas. **19.1 '• 'Lily isn't pretty. '' **19.2 '• '''Like an empathic leech. ''with Jak, Damas, Daxter, Phoenix, Torn, Ashelin and Mikaela. **19.3 '• '''Entitlement-much. *20 '• 'Talk of unattainable wants. **20.1 '• 'The jig is up. He just doesn't know it yet. ''thread between Torn and Ashelin. *21 '• '''Hello, Jinx. **21.1 '• 'Telling off Columbus. **21.2 '• 'Rainstorms and hurricanes. *22 '• 'Ashelin's diversion skills leave much to be desired. **22.1 '• '...Midlife crisis averted? **22.2 '• 'RAZER IS NINE YEARS OLD. ''with Phoenix, Jeremiah, Mikaela and Erol. *25 '• '''Taking down Ganondorf. **25.1 '• 'Punishment. **25.2 '• 'First text post ever. ''with Phoenix and Ashelin. *27 '• '''Ganondorf's List. *28 '• 'Out of the brig. ''with Erol, Karis and Phoenix. March 2010 *01 '• '''Never live it down. *02 '• 'Visiting Jak. *03 '• 'Do I even want to know? *05 '• 'Age change. ''with Ganondorf, Mikaela, Keats, Daxter, and Lily. **05.1 '• '''Airman Phoenix. **05.2 '• 'Not twincest. 18+ **05.3 '• '...Erol? **05.4 '• 'Samus Aran, three years old. *06 '• 'King has a brain? **06.1 '• 'On the nature of freaks. **06.2 '• 'No, Commander. Bad Commander. Go to bed. **06.3 '• 'He's not rescuing Oleg, he's protecting Erol. *07 '• 'Doctor Horrible? Really? **07.1 '• 'Tess. **07.2 '• 'Crai moar. *08 '• 'Welcome to the ship! **08.1 '• 'Flaming biffles. **08.2 '• 'We have Normality! ''with Erol and Jak. **08.3 '• '''Welcome back, Ashelin. *09 '• 'Playtime. **09.1 '• 'Endgame. 18+ *11 '• 'Totally worth it. ''with Erol, Phoenix, Lily, and Royston. *14 '• '''Buckles beat buttons. **14.1 '• 'Thank you, Remy, for being self-absorbed. *15 '• 'One week till Marmas. ''with Erol, Karis, Jinx, Damas, and Ashelin. *16 '• '''Took you long enough. *17 '• 'Re: Ganondorf. *18 '• 'Words of wisdom? To ''these people? *29 '• '"I think I miss birds." with Her Highness Zelda, Marco, Phoenix, Remy, Royston, Andrew, Azula, Jinx, and Erol. **29.1 '• '''Not blackmail, just curiosity. *31 '• 'Such a tease. **31.1 '• 'Both amusing and ridiculous. **31.2 '• 'Why mess with perfection? April 2010 *01 '• 'Sheik is an entitled moron. *03 '• '"Oh, you're very sharp." **03.1 '• 'Because he's UNCONSCIOUS. *06 '• 'Hearing voices. ''with Bumblebee, Mimmi, Jinx, and Azula. *07 '• '''Hunting voices. ''with Marco, Jinx, Azula, Lily, Zeke, Sokka, King, Toph, Karis, Kevas, Alita, Phoenix, Jazz, Xanth, and Ironhide. **07.1 '• '''Taking command. *08 '• 'Mission accomplished. **08.1 '• 'Ignore her. *09 '• 'Does no one believe in actually ''acting anymore? with Remy and Kevas. **09.1 '• '''Why yes, apparently they do. **09.2 '• 'Showing up. **09.3 '• 'Maze time with Remy and Gunn. **09.4 '• 'You got it? Then ''do something with it! *11 '• '''Beating up the children. **11.1 '• 'Inside Nirvana. *12 '• 'This is taking all night. *13 '• 'Gippal's eyepatch.* *27 '• 'Sunburns suck. '*'AND THUS BEGAN NASHI'S SPREE OF SLOWATUSES. May 2010 *3 '• Isle des Saphir. with Marco, Toph, Remy, Erol, Michaelangelo, Gippal, Hit-Girl, Edward, and Tachikoma. *24 •''' But their determination is so cute. *25 '''• Good job, idiots. with Marco, Azula, Ed and Sulphur. Links and Stuff thumb|left|300px|This video contains everything you need to know. *[http://jakanddaxter.wikia.com/wiki/Razer Jak and Daxter Wikia Page] *Application *'Cutscenes: ' ✘ Initial Meeting ✘ Proper Introduction ✘ Introducing UR-86 ✘ Interview with Blitz ✘ The Bloody Hook ✘ Coming Out of Retirement And that is his entire canon. Enjoy. Category:Characters Category:Fandom Category:Jak & Daxter Category:Dropped